From Skepticism to Strength: How to Question Everything and Trust Yourself
Navigating pregnancy and birth can feel like stepping into a maze of opinions, protocols, and unsolicited advice. Everyone—from your neighbor to your doctor—has something to say about how you should give birth.
But here’s the reality: you are the authority on your body, your baby, and your birth. The key is learning how to research, question, and make informed decisions without feeling overwhelmed or pressured.
Let’s break it down. Here’s how to go from uncertainty to complete confidence in your birth choices.
Step 1: Cultivate a Healthy Skepticism
Skepticism doesn’t mean distrust—it means not accepting everything at face value. The medical system isn’t immune to bias, convenience, or outdated practices. Hospitals often operate under protocols designed for efficiency, not necessarily your best interests.
Questions to Ask When Given Advice or Recommendations:
Who is giving me this information?
What is their motivation? (Medical liability? Efficiency? Fear?)
Is this advice based on evidence or just routine practice?
Are there alternative options?
Do I have time to research before making a decision?
For example, if your provider suggests an induction because you’re “past your due date,” ask:
What are the actual risks of waiting?
What’s the evidence behind this recommendation?
Can I safely monitor the baby and allow labor to start on its own?
By asking the right questions, you can separate fear-based advice from fact-based recommendations and keep your birth on your terms.
Step 2: Know Where to Look for Evidence-Based Information
Google is both a gift and a curse—there’s a lot of bad birth information out there. So where should you look?
Reliable Sources for Birth Research:
Cochrane Reviews – Gold standard for medical research and unbiased reviews.
The World Health Organization (WHO) – Advocates for evidence-based, low-intervention birth.
National Institutes of Health (NIH) – A trusted database of peer-reviewed research.
Midwifery & Doula Organizations – Such as Evidence Based Birth and the American College of Nurse-Midwives.
Books by Experts – "Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin, "The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer.
Where NOT to Rely Solely on for Birth Information:
Hospital Websites (Often push interventions and hospital policies)
Social Media “Experts” with No Credentials
Anecdotal Horror Stories (Can not stress this enough)
Step 3: Learn to Spot Red Flags in Medical Recommendations
Not all doctors and hospitals follow the latest evidence. Many still use outdated or unnecessary interventions that can negatively impact birth outcomes.
Common Medical Red Flags in Birth Care:
Routine Induction Without Medical Necessity – Inducing just because you’re past 40 weeks isn’t always best. Spontaneous labor has better outcomes.
Mandatory Continuous Fetal Monitoring – Can increase c-section rates without improving outcomes. Intermittent monitoring is just as safe for low-risk pregnancies.
“Failure to Progress” Diagnosis – Laboring for more than a certain number of hours doesn’t mean intervention is necessary. Birth isn’t a race.
Time Limits on Labor – Your body isn’t on a hospital’s schedule. Labor can take time, and that’s okay.
Pushing on Your Back as the Only Option – Upright and hands-and-knees positions are often more effective for birth.
If you hear phrases like:
“Hospital policy requires this.”
“This is just how we do things.”
“Your baby is too big, so you should schedule a c-section.”
Stop. Ask questions. Research your options.
Step 4: Take Back Your Power With Informed Consent
You have the legal right to accept or refuse any medical procedure. No one can force you into interventions you don’t want.
How to Ensure Your Decisions Are Respected:
Know Your Rights: You have the right to informed consent and refusal.
Ask for Full Disclosure: "What are the benefits, risks, alternatives, and what happens if we do nothing?"
Bring an Advocate: Your partner, doula, or birth coach can reinforce your decisions.
Put It in Writing: A well-crafted birth plan with clear language helps prevent miscommunication.
If you feel pressured into an intervention, use these phrases:
“I’d like time to think about this.”
“Can you show me the evidence for this recommendation?”
“I do not consent to this at this time.”
Your body. Your baby. Your choice.
Step 5: Strengthen Your Trust in Yourself
Skepticism isn’t about fear—it’s about confidence. The more you educate yourself, the stronger your trust in your own decisions will be.
Ways to Strengthen Your Birth Confidence:
Surround Yourself With Support – Choose a birth team (partner, doula, midwife) who respects and uplifts your choices.
Listen to Positive Birth Stories – Fill your mind with empowering experiences instead of fear-based narratives.
Practice Birth Affirmations – Say them out loud:
“I trust my body and my baby.”
“Birth is a natural process, and I was made for this.”
“I am in control of my birth experience.”
Tune Into Your Intuition – Your body gives you signals. Learn to listen and trust it.
You Are the Expert of Your Birth
You are the one giving birth. You are the one who will live with this experience forever. No one else can feel what you feel or know what you know.
By questioning everything and learning how to research, advocate, and trust your own instincts, you will step into birth not as a passive patient, but as an informed and powerful woman.
Because you are the expert on your body.
Because you have the right to make your own choices.
Because you were made for this.
Trust yourself. You’ve got this.
Resources for Further Reading:
“The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth” by Henci Goer
“Birth Matters” by Ina May Gaskin
