Doctors vs. Mothers: Who Knows Best?
Hey Mama,
Let me set the scene: You’re in labor. You’re in the zone, doing your thing, riding those waves. And then, someone in scrubs walks in and tells you what they think should happen next. Maybe it’s an induction. Maybe it’s monitoring. Maybe it’s something that doesn’t sit quite right with you. You pause, your gut telling you to question it, but then doubt creeps in: What do I know compared to a doctor?
Here’s the short answer: a lot.
When it comes to birth, there’s this ongoing tug-of-war between medical advice and maternal intuition. And let me tell you, your instincts are a force to be reckoned with. So let’s dive in, Mama, because this is about trusting yourself, owning your choices, and navigating the dynamic between what doctors recommend and what your body is telling you.
A Shift in the Story of Birth
Once upon a time, birth happened at home, surrounded by women who trusted the natural process. Then, the medical world took over. Hospitals became the norm, and doctors—the experts in emergencies—began calling the shots for all births, not just the high-risk ones.
Now don’t get me wrong: medical advancements have saved countless lives, and we’re grateful for that. But here’s the catch—somewhere along the way, we stopped trusting the expert already in the room: the mother.
Trusting Your Maternal Intuition
Mama, you have instincts that are hardwired into your being. You know when something feels right—or doesn’t. Maybe it’s sensing the need to change positions to help your baby move down. Maybe it’s refusing an intervention that feels unnecessary. Maybe it’s just knowing your baby better than anyone else ever could.
Your intuition isn’t woo-woo magic. It’s backed by biology and generations of women before you who listened to their bodies and their babies. And guess what? You’ve got that same wisdom.
The Role of Medical Advice
Now, let’s be real: doctors and midwives are here for a reason. They’re trained to spot complications, handle emergencies, and step in when things truly go sideways. And for that, we’re thankful. But (and this is a big “but”), the medical model often focuses on risk, protocols, and timelines that don’t always fit the individual.
Birth isn’t a one-size-fits-all process. What works for a high-risk case may not apply to you. And the truth is, not every suggestion is about what’s best—sometimes, it’s about what’s fastest or easiest for the system. That’s why it’s okay—no, necessary—to question, research, and trust yourself.
When Doctors and Mothers Don’t See Eye to Eye
Here’s where things can get tricky:
They want to speed things up with Pitocin, but your gut says, “Let’s wait.”
They recommend a c-section “just in case,” but your instincts tell you your baby is fine.
They push interventions because of a clock on the wall, while your body is working on its timeline.
These moments aren’t easy, but they’re also when your voice matters most. You don’t have to argue or fight; sometimes, it’s as simple as saying, “Can we wait? Can we try something else?”
Collaboration Over Conflict
Here’s the good news: it doesn’t have to be “us vs. them.” You can work with your medical team while staying true to yourself. Here’s how:
Ask Questions: “What’s the benefit of this? What are the risks? What happens if we wait?”
Trust Your Gut: If something feels off, speak up. Your intuition is powerful.
Do Your Research: Knowing your options ahead of time gives you confidence in the moment.
Build a Supportive Team: Surround yourself with people who respect your choices—a doula, a supportive partner, and care providers who listen.
You Know Best (Yes, Really!)
Let’s make this crystal clear: you are the expert on your body and your baby. Sure, doctors have medical training, but they don’t know what you’re feeling, what you’ve envisioned, or what’s most important to you. That makes your voice just as valuable—if not more so—when it comes to decisions about your birth.
Trust Yourself, Mama
Here’s the bottom line: It’s not about rejecting medical advice; it’s about balancing it with your own wisdom. Trust your instincts. Lean into your power. And when you feel uncertain, remember this: you know what’s best for you and your baby.
So, the next time someone questions your decisions, take a deep breath and remind yourself—you’ve got this. You’re the ultimate authority in your birth room.
Because when it comes to “who knows best,” the answer is YOU.
